Many people might be bad listeners because they truly can’t hear well and their brains work in strange ways to make up for it. If you can’t answer those questions then you probably need to work on your listening.” Hearing & Listening How did that person feel about what we were talking about?.What was most concerning to this person today?.What did I just learn about this person?.“When leaving a conversation ask yourself these 3 questions: The brains of really close friends react similarly when watching short video clips for instance. The more overlap between the speaker’s brain activity and the listener’s brain activity the better the communication. Neuro science shows that when you truly connect with another person your brain activities sync. Listening is not even a thing in quasi-dialogue that is happening on social media.
In social media you are “rewarded” with social proof for what you say, and you are often rewarded by the algorithm by how MUCH you say and how OFTEN you speak your mind. Social media might play a role in why listening is taking a backseat in online converstation. Which suggests that the so called “screen generation” that are now coming of age might struggle to connect with other people. Many caregivers ignore their children in favor of their phones. “We tend to listen as we were listened to as children.” We also inherited the way we listen to some degree. When a coach shouts, “Listen up!”, then what follows is often a list of rules and restrictions. When a parent says, “Listen!’, we are probably not going to like what comes next.
Not everyone has the skill, and in some ways we have been conditioned not to listen. “Bad listeners are not necessarily bad people.”
Key Lessons and Takeaways Conditioning and upbringing You’re Not Listening tackles questions about why we might overlook the art of listening in modern culture and what you can do to improve your listening skills. If you have read a few books about communication, negotiating and persuasion you know that these books often only touch the surface on the subject listening, so when I found a book fully dedicated to the subject I knew I had to pick it up. That we might hear from another twice as much as we speak.” – You’re Not Listening, Kate Murphy “The ancient Greek philosopher Epictetus said that nature had given men one tongue but two ears for a reason.
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